Womanhood

Elated she was, with the new world set afront... she rejoiced as her heart gained beats, her cells divided and the organs formed... she floated elegantly in the ocean of her dreams.. "It's the baby girl again" she stopped as she heard a sigh... her newly gained beats did not last long....

He ardently worshipped Saraswati, the goddess of knowledge.
"Remember you are a girl. Learning is not your cup of tea. It's better that you quit school and get involved in domestic chores instead." He said when his daughter asked him for her school fees.

"Behave yourself", her mother told her, when her dupatta slipped off her shoulder. Women should look decent in the public."
Meanwhile, her brother blew whistles and passed ugly comments on a group of girls at the bus stop.

"A girl should be two things... who and what she wants." He quoted on his facebook wall. "Why did you have to wear a short skirt at the party? Did you purposely want those scumbags to drool over your bare legs?" He bashed at his wife later.

While he sang praises of Ma Durga at the temple, his own mother lay abandoned in an old age home, counting her last breaths.

And while the society held a candle march to preach feminism, she burned herself like a candle...Raped. Groped in public. A subject to constant judgements. Tied with the invisible chains of slavery... and still managed to give away the light...and then she gradually faded off, highlighting the essence of womanhood...

© Aditee Joshi

माझीच मी

शुभ्र कोऱ्या चांदव्याशी हासले माझीच मी
धुंद हळव्या शब्दगंधी गुंतले माझीच मी..

लाख स्वप्ने गुंफुनी मी बांधली तारांगणे
उसवता अलवार टाका उसवले माझीच मी

सौख्यसमयी भोवताली लाख होते सोबती
आणि दु:खाच्या घडीला सोबती माझीच मी

हाय तू तुडवून जाता दूर प्रीतीची फुले
त्या फुलांच्या अत्तरासम बहरले माझीच मी

मतलबी सारेच येथे, नाहि कोणाचे कुणी
मुखवटे नुसते सभोती, शेवटी माझीच मी!

© अदिती

The Betterhalf

I stepped the room with racing heart. The weight of my saree, the jwellery that i had been carrying the whole day, had now become unbearable. The room was all decorated, petals of roses lying on the bed. A scent of fresh roses lingered all over. The room was dimly lit, the bedside antique lamp being the only source of light. I felt incomplete.. as if I had left the other half of mine back at home… I was stuck with the sense of incoherence.

The sound of door from behind brought chills down my spine. I was terrified thinking about things that would follow… Being the first night after marriage, this was supposed to be the most special moment of all for me. I was struck with terror instead. I was not prepared for this relationship… I was only 18.. too young to be a part of it.

It had come up to me as a surprise, and a mere notion of marrying a stranger had given me goosebumps. I come from the family who considers a girl being friends with guys wrong. I was more than surprised when my parents, the same ones who had almost disowned me once, for only talking to my guy classmate after school hours, had insisted me on marrying this stranger.

My heart started thumping as he approached me. He was strong and dark and wore a light blue shaded kurta. He looked too mature for a 25 year old. I thought of my mother… of all the things she had advised for tonight… I felt uneasy. I closed both my eyes tight… A storm of negativities started evading my mind… All I wanted to do was sleep peacefully and wait for the storm to pass..

"You look beautiful"

Coming back to my senses, I looked at him. He was smiling. Not knowing how to react, I stood still.

"I had always been wondering how it would be like, the two of us, living together. I had been living alone for over a decade."

I repelled as he came closer.

"…and we are finally married… this is the most beautiful moment of my life… what do you think…? "

he came even closer... 'NO...' my mind shouted… 'I don't want this to happen…'
He turned my face towards his… and smiled… I wanted to run away…

"Well… I admire your skills… the way you manage to spread terror with these eyes… You so much look like a ghost that you almost scared me."

He started laughing. I looked at him.. clueless…

He took a picture of me on his phone…

"Take a look", he said..

My eyeliner had smudged all over my face… and with the gloomy expression, I quite resembled a ghost from bollywood movies. I couldn't help but laugh at myself… and we laughed together… till our stomachs ached.


"So let's talk",he said..

"Talk?" I asked, surprised. This was surely not supposed to happen tonight.

"Yes, like friends do… at the sleepovers… stay up all night and talk."

"Friends?"

"I want our relationship to initiate with friendship… I want us to share our likes, dislikes, passions, dreams with each other… I want our relationship to bloom, from friendship, to whatever it is desired to be… have you ever seen the rising sun…? let our relationship gradually rise like the sun… let's illuminate each others lives… all other things will happen when they have to. Let's be friends first…"

I looked at him. He was looking straight into my kohl smudged eyes. I found his eyes assuring. The restlessness storming over my mind had faded away with that assurance…

"Friends…?" I repeated, dumbfounded.

"Yes dear friends. Would you like to be my friend?"

…and then, the unexpected happened… we talked throughout the night… shared our dreams, passions… he promised to fulfil all my dreams… and then we watched the sunrise together. The radiance in his eyes quite resembled the radiance of the rising sun. It was then, that I found the lost half of mine… although, this was not the one that I had left back at home… this was even better…better than my old shattered half. This was my Betterhalf…

©Aditee Joshi

ती सर ओघळता...

ती सर ओघळता सोबतीस मी झरतो
तो मेघ झुरावा तैसा मीही झुरतो
आपुलेच काही तुटुन ओघळून जावे
खेदात तशा मी कणा कणाने विरतो...

ती सर ओघळता विझती स्वप्नदिवेही
अन दिवसासंगे विझून जातो मीही
अन लख्ख काजळी गगनी दाटून येता
मी आशेचे कण शोधित भिरभिर फिरतो

ती ओघळता मी सुना एकटा पक्षी
पंखांच्या जागी असाह्यतेची नक्षी
शेवटास मीही काव्यपंख लेवून
आठवांभोवती तिच्या नित्य भिरभिरतो

ती सर ओघळता उरे न काही बाकी
सहवास सरे अन अंती मी एकाकी
ती सरीसारखी चंचल आर्त प्रवाही
तिज धरू पाहता मीच दिवाणा ठरतो

©अदिती जोशी

The Abandoned

Gazing out of window had always been her favourite pastime. She would do it for hours as a child, waiting for her father to return... When they got her married, it was a routine to wait at the window late till night until her husband returned. She had now been waiting for her only child to return.. to see him for the last time before she died..

"Look at the mess you've created. Can't you even get up properly...?" She remembered her daughter in law yell at her when she spoiled her new bedsheet with her food stained hands while trying to get up.

"You are too aged for us to handle Ma.." her son had once said when she had unknowingly urinated in her bed.

She always dreamed to have a child as adorable as little Krishna. She remembered how happy she was when she brought her little Krishna to this world. How she cleaned his dirty diapers, how she nursed him back to health when ill...

"I am sorry Ma.." he held her wrinkled hands in his grip. "This may sound mean, but I don't think we can take care of you anymore." He said as they approached the old age home.
"I am sorry for the troubles I caused you Son, but why don't you understand me? I am weak..I am old. Isn't senility a second childhood? Hadn't you caused me troubles as a child?"
She argued, but in vain.

Gazing out of window hoping her Krishna would return someday, she was living her second childhood... the abandoned one though...

© Aditee Joshi

Darkest Cloud...

"You're the darkest cloud in the sky...so deep so intense..." she had once said

"true", I thought, "..and while the cloud spills water to recreate, i spill ink"
© Aditee Joshi

Treachery

With you, it's not the same anymore... She coldly said and disappeared, leaving him shattered within a second..

Cursing the treachery of the lightening, the shattered cloud shed tears and drenched the entire world in it's wrath...

©Aditee Joshi