I stepped the room with racing heart. The weight of my saree, the jwellery that i had been carrying the whole day, had now become unbearable. The room was all decorated, petals of roses lying on the bed. A scent of fresh roses lingered all over. The room was dimly lit, the bedside antique lamp being the only source of light. I felt incomplete.. as if I had left the other half of mine back at home… I was stuck with the sense of incoherence.
The sound of door from behind brought chills down my spine. I was terrified thinking about things that would follow… Being the first night after marriage, this was supposed to be the most special moment of all for me. I was struck with terror instead. I was not prepared for this relationship… I was only 18.. too young to be a part of it.
It had come up to me as a surprise, and a mere notion of marrying a stranger had given me goosebumps. I come from the family who considers a girl being friends with guys wrong. I was more than surprised when my parents, the same ones who had almost disowned me once, for only talking to my guy classmate after school hours, had insisted me on marrying this stranger.
My heart started thumping as he approached me. He was strong and dark and wore a light blue shaded kurta. He looked too mature for a 25 year old. I thought of my mother… of all the things she had advised for tonight… I felt uneasy. I closed both my eyes tight… A storm of negativities started evading my mind… All I wanted to do was sleep peacefully and wait for the storm to pass..
"You look beautiful"
Coming back to my senses, I looked at him. He was smiling. Not knowing how to react, I stood still.
"I had always been wondering how it would be like, the two of us, living together. I had been living alone for over a decade."
I repelled as he came closer.
"…and we are finally married… this is the most beautiful moment of my life… what do you think…? "
he came even closer... 'NO...' my mind shouted… 'I don't want this to happen…'
He turned my face towards his… and smiled… I wanted to run away…
"Well… I admire your skills… the way you manage to spread terror with these eyes… You so much look like a ghost that you almost scared me."
He started laughing. I looked at him.. clueless…
He took a picture of me on his phone…
"Take a look", he said..
My eyeliner had smudged all over my face… and with the gloomy expression, I quite resembled a ghost from bollywood movies. I couldn't help but laugh at myself… and we laughed together… till our stomachs ached.
"So let's talk",he said..
"Talk?" I asked, surprised. This was surely not supposed to happen tonight.
"Yes, like friends do… at the sleepovers… stay up all night and talk."
"Friends?"
"I want our relationship to initiate with friendship… I want us to share our likes, dislikes, passions, dreams with each other… I want our relationship to bloom, from friendship, to whatever it is desired to be… have you ever seen the rising sun…? let our relationship gradually rise like the sun… let's illuminate each others lives… all other things will happen when they have to. Let's be friends first…"
I looked at him. He was looking straight into my kohl smudged eyes. I found his eyes assuring. The restlessness storming over my mind had faded away with that assurance…
"Friends…?" I repeated, dumbfounded.
"Yes dear friends. Would you like to be my friend?"
…and then, the unexpected happened… we talked throughout the night… shared our dreams, passions… he promised to fulfil all my dreams… and then we watched the sunrise together. The radiance in his eyes quite resembled the radiance of the rising sun. It was then, that I found the lost half of mine… although, this was not the one that I had left back at home… this was even better…better than my old shattered half. This was my Betterhalf…
©Aditee Joshi
